The Donkey Sanctuary Has Taken All Our Money (Send Help)

The donkey sanctuary has taken all our money.
The donkeys have stashed our hard earned cash into their new refurbished studio barn apartments
          under their new organic hay mattresses.

They are drinking
single malt fifteen year oak cask thistle whisky
and smoking rhododendron cigars
with our money.

The donkey sanctuary has taken all our money
and used it to buy up precious brownfield land and
re-turf it with Lazy Lawn™.
They sit in their plastic field all day
and nibble on cowslip canapés.
Braying idle, wealthy chatter
Meanwhile, house prices continue to skyrocket.
We are living in slums.

The donkey sanctuary has taken all our money
and put it into bonds, shares, and circles.
We don’t know what a circle is yet but they seem to be doing well out of it.
          Last week they all bought head massagers.
(Why are donkeys buying head massagers? They have hooves!)
Now they just sit in a pile next to the gym ball they bought with all our money
(Waiting for the day when the donkeys will hire human servants to administer)
(the physical cranial pleasure that comes with taking all our money)

The donkey sanctuary has taken all our money
and is using it to fund a trip to Barbados for disadvantaged donkeys.
(What’s the point?)
(I thought they were all disadvantaged.)
They are going to Barbados and drinking long clover ice teas
whilst lying on specially designed donkey-shaped sunbeds
and riding specially designed donkey jet skis
built to order at great expense with our money.

The donkey sanctuary has taken all our money
and bathes in honey bought from our hard-pressed bee keepers at exploitative prices.
In the evenings, with our money, they go to the donkey opera
          and the donkey ballet
Inviting professional colleagues from their old work days
to extract special favours.

Nobody is holding the donkey sanctuary to account.
The Parliamentary Select Committee on Donkey Sanctuaries puts pat questions to the Chairman of the Board
          as he leans back, fiddles with his long fluffy ears, and narrows his eyes
The donkey sanctuary has taken all our money
and we are out of jobs
nobody needs anyone to print out leaflets any more
or put on charity bake sales
because the donkey sanctuary has taken all our money
(Send help)

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