Right-wing Poemic

I WANNA HEAR A RIGHT-WING POEM

I wanna hear da liberal howls of anguish sliiiiiide through the room
As I give dem anodder
Turn on da spit.

Come to ma family-friendly barbecue event
All dese lovely juicy wealthy white faces strung up togedder and screaming
When dey used to be rhyming along to da Huffington Post as Upworthy bait.

Y’know my modda always got me on her knee and taught me:
If you don’t have anyding worth saying, don’t say anyding at all!

CLICK CLICK CLICK

I want to hear da rumble
                                        tumble
                                                 grumble
                                                 of sweet-scented
                                                                       rose-pink
                                                                                   umbrage!
As you all knock back your heads and take junkies’ breaths on echoes
                                                                                                                                echoes
                                                                                                                                               echoes
                    dat’ll reverberate
and                                    ruminate
and                                    stagnate until da next time when dem echoes
                                                                                                                                echoes
                                                                                                                                               echoes
                                        get up our noses like chilli geckos
See?! I can rhyme similes too!

CLICK CLICK CLICK

I WANNA HEAR A RIGHT-WING POEM
A poem just like da poems of my blessed youth
C’mon, someone’s gotta be willing to channel da spirit of
Rudyard Kipling
T. S. Eliot
Philip Larkin

I wanna hear da trickle
                                        trickle
                                                 trickle of red
                                                                        red wine on da head of Margaret Thatcher
for her anointation at her coronation
        GOD SAVE DA QUEEN!

CLICK CLICK CLICK

I wanna hear a right wing poem!
Gimme a sonnet on free market economics
I’m preaching liberation for da pinstripe suits
As dey swing deir briefcases round
                                                                  and around

Gimme an acrostic
Nobody over da age of 10 writes acrostics any more, and dat’s a stain on our national heritage!
Gimme an acrostic on sound economic policy
And down da side da baby reads
C
O
N
S
E
R
V
A
T
I
V
E

CLICK CLICK CLICK

I wanna hear a right wing poem
I wanna hear da sound again of arteries bursting on stage in unholy
                                                                                                                           unrighteous
                                                                                                                                                  hydraulic rage.
I demand change that we can’t believe in
I feel stifled
Bring me my rifle
I’ll shoot literary pinko pigeons down
                                                                  BANG BANG BANG
CLICK CLICK CLICK

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